Kids with oppositional defiance disorder aren’t good hearing the word “no”. Here’s how they think: “If I’m not in control, bad things happen to me.” The only way oppositional defiance disorder children can feel safe is if they are in control of every situation. Even though this isn’t possible, that’s still what they try to do. Most of us learn at an early age, about 3 or 4, that even though “no” is a disappointing word because you don’t get what you want, you can still learn to handle it. ODD kids don’t look at it that way, and they have a tendency to get violent, kicking, hitting, and damaging property, which gives them a feeling of being in control. Especially if the parents don’t do anything about it, or if they act like they’re intimidated or scared. Furthermore, if they do act scared or intimidated, it just makes the ODD kid fell more unsafe.